Saturday, May 28, 2011

Friendships with Women

There have been many times in life when I have met someone and thought, "Wow! I wish she was my next door neighbor--or at least lived in my same town. I'd love for this friendship to grow!"

But because of distance, time, and commitments--and whatever other excuses I'd come up with--I've had to say goodbye to a new friend and to hopes of continued friendship.

Is that just me, or is it you, too?

And there are others times I reflect on friendships in my life, and I think, "I've got this great friend over here, and that sweet friend over there, and I just wish they all lived on my block, and they all knew each other. Like college!"

But that's hard when they are scattered all over. All. Over.

Is that just me, too, or is that also you sometimes?

And then there are times I reflect on past friendships, and I wonder why a particular one has fizzled. Did I not put enough time into the friendship? Did I not care and tend and nourish our good relationship? Or did God just have different roads for us to follow, and while He brings together, He also grows us apart, too?

Is that just me, or have you experienced this, too?

Growing friendships as an adult is different, I'm discovering. I'm also learning that while I need and love my dear husband, he'll never want to go to the spa with me, linger over coffee, give great advice on fashion, or truly understand how my female mind works. And that's okay. That's actually the way it's supposed to be. But I desperately need someone who does.

And then there are many more times that I have to remember that no one person is designed to fill my needs. No husband, no girlfriend. My heart is shaped for God alone, and he is the truest of all friends who indeed sticks closer than a brother. {Proverbs 18:24}

This past year I read a great book that helped me to process through some of these thoughts. Friendships for Grown-Ups:What I Missed and Learned Along the Way was written by Lisa Whelchel. Remember her as Blair from the famous Facts of Life sitcom from the '80s? She has actually been a favorite author of mine, and I even got the chance to meet her a few years back. It's kind of a funny story, and I'll spare you the sappy details, but it was still special to see her.

My college friend, Michelle, and I had a blast meeting her face to face. And yes, she is much shorter in person than I expected!

Reading her books is like sitting across the table from her sipping a cup of sweet tea while listening to her incredible stories and learning from her profound wisdom. More importantly, she's a woman who loves God, and she inspires you to, as well.

So, how do you tend and grow friendships as an adult? And how has that changed over the years? And do you think that technology has really helped us as women who long to connect, or has it just hindered our real connection? And who would like to start a quilting bee with me this summer because I'm not so sure I was born in the right century...

These are just a few of the things I think about when I think about friendships with women.

Is that just me, or is it you, too?


Christan said...

You pose a great question regarding technology and its effectiveness in bringing women closer together. Lots of food for thought there...

I know one thing - I'm deeply grateful for you, my friend, in my life. You are a gift from the One who has made my heart. xoxoxo

Rambling Heather said...

I just finished that book and was so blessed. This post touched my heart. I have many things to ponder! Thank you for encouraging me to reflect on my friendships! I am thrilled to have found your blog through your comment on my inCourage post. Blessings!